The Return of Psycho Mom

Well from what I hear she is back in town. I tell you I feel somewhat scared at what she is going to do next.



This last week was pure heaven. I didn't have to worry that when the phone rang it was going to be her or when there was a knock at my door I didn't have to worry that it was her. It was so freeing that I got alot done and now all I want to do is sleep and pretend that she doesn't exist and it's all just a really bad dream but this is the real world and I can't do that.



She has shown me recently that she can't be trusted at all. I don't know what her next move is going to be but I have decided not to play her games anymore. She has her husband for that although I don't know how much longer he is going to put up with her shit. He is realizing who she really is and it isn't the person he thought he was going to marry. Let me tell you she puts on a good show. She has everyone snowballed.



She has all her friends and our family believing that she is completely sane and that I am completely nuts. I just wish that I had a decent mother who would love me and not play games with my life. She has this ability to twist me into knots. She can make me feel such pain I didn't even know could exist.



I just wonder why she does this. I know she has a disease but give me a break. You can only use excuses for so long. She could have gotten help for herself a long time ago but she refuses to see what is right in frount of her face. She refuses to realize that she is sick and needs help. If she doesn't get it she is going to loose me forever.



In alot of ways I feel like an orphan. My father left me a long time ago and now my mother is pushing me away. I feel so alone in this world. As if no one cares about me. I know my friends do but it isn't the same kind of love that a parent can give.