Dealing with a manic depresive mother

I sware my mother is manic depressive. She has the worst mood swings I have ever seen. One day she can be the most loving person on the face of the earth the next day she is screaming that she is going to kill me, literally.

An example: One day we were going to get a perscription for me because I was very sick. She had asked me to look up the address but I thought I knew where the Osco was. Well I was wrong. She started yelling how she was going to crash the car and kill us both and get it over with. She said life wasn't worth it and that we would both be better off dead. Well I finally spotted the Osco and she dropped me off to get my perscription. When I came out and got back into the car she had a smile on her face and everything that had just happened seemed to have disapeared from her mind.

Well last weekend on Sunday she asked me to call my Dr. so I could get a stronger perscription because I wasn't getting any better. She said to call her when it was ready and she would pick it and bring it over to my house for me since I was sick. So on Monday I called them and had them call in a new perscription. When they called and told me it was ready to be picked up I called her. Well her husband answered so I explained that my perscription was ready to be picked up and then said good bye and hung up. About 5 mon later she called me back saying she was never going to talk to me and that if I wanted the perscription I was going to have to get it myself. Well I don't druve and Osco is a mile from my house. I don't know about anyone else but when I am sick the last thing I want to be doing is going on a 2 mile walk (this is there and back) I would rather be in bed resting. Well she also told me she hoped that I was going to have a good life cuz she was through with me. Now this was completely unprovoked. I still have no idea what happened between Sunday and Monday to get this reaction.

Well this morning at about 7:30am I get a phone call from her asking if I wanted to go to a tea party with her. I think to myself WTF? A few days ago she didn't want anything to do with me now she wnats me to go to some stupid tea party? I made up some excuse as to why I couldn't go to the stupid tea party. The last thing I want to be doing this weekend is spending time with my mother. She really pissed me off and hurt me. When she fights with her husband she always takes it out on me and I am just not going to play her games from now on. I have decided that the next time she calls I am going to tell her "mother I am going to respect your request. Good bye have a nice life." I know this is going to piss her off and I will probibly get kicked out of my condo. (She and her husband technically own it. But I pay the mortgage and assoc. fees.) I am just so tired of her mood swings.

I told her a few weeks ago that I thought she is Bi-Polar and she brushed it off saying "Oh hunney I'm not bi-polar. I just get depressed sometimes." I then reminded her of the times she has spazed out. She really didn't have anything to say about it. Although I dont think she is getting any help for it. I thing she could be such a good person then she pulls one of her stunts. I wish I had a normal mother that didn't go off if she doesn't get what she wants.

Oh she is also pissed that I am not what she expected. I think my mother thought having a baby is like having a doll. You can dress it up and play with it and decide how it should live their lives. Well people don't work that way. Everyone is their own person and everyone makes their own mistakes. Believe me I have made my share of mistakes but hey I've learned from them and I am a better person for learning these lessons. I wish she would just let me live my life. I am 28. That is considered an adult. I'm going to be 30 in an year and a half for gods sake and she still treats me as if I am 2.

Maybe I post some of the other choice things my mother has done to me over the years. It's amazing to me that I'm not completely mad from the things she and my father have thrown at me. What really gets me is that there are people who have it much worse than I do. I have no idea how these people survive without wanting to off themselves. Well you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family.

Another useless test

Are you a ho? Find out @ She's Crafty

Fun Tests

Here are some fun tests you can take.



I am Yoda

Arwen If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Arwen, Elf, the daughter of Elrond. In the movie, I am played by Liv Tyler. Who would you be? Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

Which Rock Chick Are You?






take the which one of the trading spaces cast are you? quiz!

If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Dmitri Shostakovich! I am a shy, nervous, unassuming, fidgety, and stuttery little person who began composing the same year I started music lessons of any sort. I wrote the first of my fifteen symphonies at age 18, and my second opera, "Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk District," when I was only 26. Unfortunately, Stalin hated the opera, and put me on the Enemy Of The People List for life. I nevertheless kept composing the works I wanted to write in private; some of my vocal cycles and 15 string quartets mock the Soviet System in notes. And I somehow was NOT killed in the process! And Harry Potter(c) stole my glasses and broke them! Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test

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Which Buffy Girl Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty






What Psych-Ward do you belong to?

The Eighties Pop Act Test deems me:

55% Eighties Pop Act You are The Smiths: You were a peripheral player in the eighties, people thought it was cool to be your friend, but they never really wanted to spend time with you. Go watch Twin Peaks reruns.

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I am a Base-defender. What's mine is mine, and I make sure everyone knows it. Nobody invades my space without permission - I'd destroy everything I own before letting someone take it from me. I tend to be forward-facing, which is both a strength and a weakness. What Video Game Character Are You?

Update

I had a little bit of time today so I fixed some things on my weblog.

You will notice that my weblog looks completely different. What started this is I tried to remove my name from the end of the weblog and it resulted in removing the comments. Well I like change so I decided to go with a completely different look for my weblog. Well I hope you like what I have done.

Oh Boy

Well I haven't had alot of time to blag. I will however have quite a blog coming. It's been quite a week.

Due to somethings that have happened I haven't done squat to my website but hopefully I will have time soon. I have tons of new links to funny pages and interesting things I have found.

I will leave you with a few links to interesting sites I have found.

Something Scary
Something Funny
Something Interesting
Something Wierd and Funny
Something So Sad (Note my sarcasm)

Thought for today.

God will never give you more than you can handle.

This has been my moto in the past few days.

Suprises

Well I got a nice suprise. My step father just came to my frount door bearing gifts. When mom was in NYC I guess she went to a bakery to get me some things. She is so funny I didn't expect for her to get me anything. She was there because one of her cousins was dieing. After the funeral she stopped at a bakery and got something for myself and my step dad.

I also got something from my aunt. I got a really cute sleep shorts set and a new sleeveless t-shirt. I also got a little stuffed bear and it all came in a plastic Hello Kitty bag. :D I love Hello Kitty. It doesn't matter how old I get I still love toys. lol

Things I am planning on doing today.

Well today I plan on doing some work on my website. I have some new quotes to put up and I do believe I have quite a few new wav files to put up as well. I also have some new fun links to add to the links section.

My links section is growing so much that I am thinking of breaking it up into a couple of sections. I was thinking of having a buttons and banners section and a regular typed link section.

I also put up a few new blog links. I hope you enjoy some of the new ones. I've been on a mission to find blogs of quality and link them here. I have found quite a few good ones out there. It's also a great way to meet new people such a Kerr. I happen to stumble across Kerr's blog left a comment and now have a new net friend. :D I must admit though I found quite a few of them at the WWDN.

Speaking of WWDN I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo adicted to that place. Whenever I am online I am usually posting there. Currently I am 14 on the posters who post the most. This scares me lol. Anyway it's a great place for adults to hang out. There is alink to the WWDN over on the left side of my blog.

Well it's been over 2 weeks since I had a cig and I am ever so tempted to get one today. Damn I really want a cig. I am thinking that if I can bum one off of someone then I wouldn't have the other 19 to smoke and if i did get a whole pack I would only be able to smoke the one cig and then I would feel bad because I wasted all that money on cigs that I'm not going to smoke. What to do, what to do? Well wish me luck that I do the right thing.

Quote of the week

"Never comprimise yourself it's all you've got." ~ Janice Joplin

Fun sites of the week

1. Eric Conveys An Emotion
2. Kill Everyone Project
3. The Zen Game
4. Jump The Shark
5. No comments:

The Raping Of The Public by Record Company Execs

Well it has come to my attension that the record companies have decided that I can't record ANY of the songs off of a cd or anything off of a dvd. This blows! In the past few years artists have been breaking records left and right and these people charge WAY too fucking much for the cds in the first place. $20 for one or two songs I like. Give me a break!

I have also heard that the new Celine Dion cd has something in it that if you put it into your computer it will crash your computer. This has to be illegal. They could seriously mess up someone's computer. Yet they want that all mighty dollar and don't care what kind of dammage it does to us. Again I say give me a break. Like these people don't have enough money already. Guess Celine's million dollar wedding has put a massive dent into her finances. :P I can barely survive on what money I have and she is going to screw me over. I used to have alot of respect for her and now this is happening.

Also this new bill they are trying to pass will make it almost impossible for independant artists to record and sell their own music. To me this infringes upon free speach.

To read about the new bill go HERE. You can also go HERE to read another article about the bill.

I think everyone should boycott the artists that are going along with this B.S. I think we should also write letters to our congressmen and woman stating why this is illegal and what not.

Ok that's enough on that subject.

The Wierd Sickness Strikes Again

Well mom got back the other day from NYC. The thing is she is now sick. She has some of the same symptoms that I do but she is also haveing problems with her heart. I am extremely worried about her. She went to the Dr. yesterday and they told her to just lay down and rest for the next few days. They also gave her an aray of drugs.

Oh I have a new symptom. I was coughing and I felt liquid coming out of my nose so I went to wipe it and I look down and ree red. Yes people my nose started to bleed. I'm telling you something is going on. I am not one of those wierd conspiricy people but I really think there is something to this.

Other than the coughing, which is driving me crazy, I feel almost normal. The only thing that is truely and utterly pissing me off is that I have lost my voice. I can't sing and I feel as if I have lost a part of my soul. I know it's temporary but I want it back and I want it back right now. Not romorrow or the next day. :P Oh well guess I'm going to have to wait. Hopefully it won't take much Longer.